NON SEQUITUR

Cell phone rings at 12:49 p.m....it's an 800 number. I know exactly who it is, and I usually don't answer, but I wanted to try a new approach.

Me: "Hello."

Recording: "The factory warranty on your vehicle is expired. For more information on extending your warranty press 1, to be removed from this list press 9."

** I have been pressing "9" on this particular call for the last 8 months, so this time I pressed "1" **


Beep, boop, beep...pick up:

Operator: "Hello, something-something Center."

Me: "Hi, how do I get removed from this calling list?"

Operator: "Oh so you're interested in extending your vehicle's
warranty?"

Me: "No, no...I'd like the calls to stop."

Operator: "Oh, you've purchased the warranty already?"

Me: (foolishly) "No, no, I haven't purchased the warranty, I just don't want any more ca.."

Operator: (interrupting) "Okay, we'll give you a call back, then. Have a nice day." (click)

I did my best to call him a "fucking prick" before he hung up...and, well, I'm just going to go on believing that he heard it. I admit, I was laughing while I said it...I didn't expect him to end the call like he did. I certainly appreciated his delivery and timing.

Since it appears that this weekly call is going to be more difficult to prevent than the progression of Will Ferrell's puzzlingly lengthy career, I might as well make the best of it. I'm gonna' get myself a little digital audio recorder, put all future calls on speakerphone, and have some fun...and, of course, you will be presented with the results. That's all for now, stay tuned.