Damn, That's Some Fast Juice!

Alright, so, I made the switch from omni to vegan a little over 2 ½ years ago. Up ‘till then I had a lot of bad habits. Gorging on terrible foods, drinking A LOT of alcohol, watching too much T.V., and getting less physical activity than Captain Pike did in “The Menagerie.” Yeah, I know.

Anyway, since then, I have eradicated all of these detrimental deeds…except for one. One that I have kept hidden from view since the dawn of The Sexy Vegan, nearly two years ago. I am, and for the past 9 years, have been addicted to nicotine. The Sexy Vegan smokes! (The show was initially called “The Smoking Vegan” because, at the time, I thought that it would be funny, but I settled on “Sexy” since I decided that more people would click on it if it had “sex” in the title, and I really wanted it to be about health…and I didn’t plan on smoking forever).

Over the past couple of years I have made tremendous strides in this fight, reducing cigarette consumption from nearly a-pack-a-day, to just one pack over the course of a weekend, which is where I have been for quite a while now. That is, however, the most idiotic smoking schedule I’ve ever heard of. The first three days of nicotine withdrawal are always the worst, and since I essentially quit smoking every Monday, I go through the worst part of quitting every single week. I could probably handle a couple days of water boarding at this point.

The fact is, my life has changed in so many fantastic ways since becoming vegan (I used to look like that), but this is the one thing that’s been holding me back from being the complete vegan sex symbol…and I’m ready to be done with it.

So I’ve started a juice fast.

In wanting to avoid replacements like “the patch” and “the gum”, I searched for some natural helpers. It’s all about detoxifying, according to this here internet. Get all of that nicotine out of my system, so I no longer crave it. There are much more detailed explanations out there about the workings of the addiction (dopamine release and such), but I’m gonna’ keep it simple. There are also 17,000,000 different herbal combinations, cleansing/detoxing kits, and programs for detoxifying the body and quitting smoking, but I’m going to keep that simple too. They also recommend enemas…and, well, that just won’t be happening.

I’m simply going to consume nothing but juice for a yet-to-be-determined amount of time, and see what happens. Fresh juice, that I juice myself. I have read up on this, and it seems like a viable method to heal one’s body, and has been successful in aiding nicotine cessation. It, apparently, gives the digestive system a rest, and lets the body focus on repairs and cleansing. You’re not even supposed to chew gum while doing this, since the act of chewing triggers the digestive system into action.

I started yesterday, and want to go at least three days. Although I’ve read that the body doesn’t even start detoxing until about four or five days in. I’ve read so many differing articles on this, that there’s only one way to be sure how it all works…and I’m starting my second day of that investigation. I’ll go a week if I can.

So far, I’ve made two different juice combinations:

A. 1 beet + it’s greens, 2 apples, 2 carrots, small slice of ginger
B. 1 tomato, 2 carrots, 3 celery stalks, ¼ of an English cucumber, 1 clove garlic

These make between eight and twelve ounces of juice. You’re supposed to dilute it with an equal amount of water to make you feel fuller, but that tastes shitty. I’m simply drinking the water right after or before I drink the juice…same effect.

In fact, I’m drinking combo B right now with some Swiss chard added. Whew, one clove of garlic is definitely enough. Both combos are absolutely delicious, actually. There will be much more to come on this topic in the coming days. Keep in mind that I’m no expert, and I’m not a doctor (anymore) but I would like to make this a resource for anyone who might try such a thing…so stay tuned...and pray I don’t start eating my appendages, I’m starting to get a little hungry.